Kristin: putting her money where her mouth is

Kristin Cavallari; admittedly, my favourite Laguna Beach breakout. I always thought Kristin was awesome, and I still do. I've met her, she's pretty, fun and absolutely down-to-earth.

But one thing, Kristin? Where did your need for money come from? Your parents are rich as fuck, you've done well for yourself, so explain this:

Using her brains (you can't deny that, haters - she graduated from LBHS with a 3.6 GPA) - Kristin's found a new way to fill her purse.

Charging club owners for personal appearances, in the hope her presence may feature the nightclubs in popular US magazines. She created a war between two hot Vegas clubs - Tao Las Vegas & Pure Las Vegas, with both offering increasing amounts of dollar to host her 21st birthday event in February of 2008. According to reports, bids are already up to $100,000.

And her fallback? She's put her relationship with MTV's Nick Zano under the spotlight of her favourite photographers, who are paying her for the 'exclusive' rights to pictures of the couple making out.

She sells the photos to tabloid papers who in turn pay her. According to a spy quoted in The Hollywood Gossip, this "infuriates event organisers who pay her to attend their events because they only get C-rate photos for their use".

However, Cavallari's representative defends this money-hounding, claiming they have had "nice offers" to host Kristin's 21st, and she has "not yet chosen one". Waiting for the biggest offer, hmm, Kristin? According to the same rep, she is trying to "control these uncomfortable situations" and "work with photographers [she knows and trusts]."

Hey Kristin; I love you, but your fifteen minutes are up. Stop milking it, and wait for offers to come to you. That's how to maintain your dignity in the cut-throat world of celebrity.

J-Wahl Makes The Most of His Time Before Jail

Hey, J-Wahl : you're an idiot. Understood, you're going to jail. Understood, you wanna have fun before you go. What's not understood? The fact that you consistently, without fail, make yourself look like an asshole.

Jason has until May 4th to turn himself in and start his 60-day jail sentence after four, that's right, four arrests recently. But does Jason care? Does he hell. Come on guys, Jason is way too cool for school (note irony).

Since Jason was given his two-month sentence, he's been arrested again - this time for assault. So jail ain't gunna be a party, Jason. And for sure LC's not gonna care once you're locked up.

Oh, and Jason? No-one's interested in your 'sex tape'. You won't make any money from that, dude, so you're pretty much stuck.

What can I say, dude? BUSTED.

Thou Shalt Not Release The Sex Tape

The porno company which allegedly had a copy of Lauren and ex-boyfriend Jason's sex tape has decided not to go ahead with releasing the tape. Why?

Believe it or not, Jason apparently puts in a "severely disappointing" show for the camera and there is "no hardcore sex". Shame for all you sickos who were hoping to get a cheap thrill out of seeing LC's lady bits, because Lauren and Jason are merely "messing around" in the tape.

SugarDVD had reportedly offered $500,000 for the tape but have now withdrawn its offer because - get this - they "refuse to support any person who feels that it is in any way acceptable to rattle off racial slurs and slanderous language" i.e., the porno company don't want to associate themselves with the recently-arrested (again) Jason! Oh, the irony.

Lauren still maintains that there is no sex tape, and I believe her. She puts the "horrible" rumours down to ex-best friend Heidi and her partner-in-crime, the greaseball Spencer Pratt. The couple have denied such allegations (of course). Spencer thinks it is "sad someone would make up something like that, and even sadder people think [Heidi and I] had anything to do with it", and Montag feels "horrible for Lauren" over the "disgusting rumour". It's just a shame Heidi was too wrapped up in her brand new plastic tits to give a damn.

Poor Lauren.

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On a side note...
If you want to vote Lauren for Us Magazine's Sexiest Female Reality Star, go here. She's up against Tyra Banks, Paula Abdul and 'New York' from Flavor of Love. Seriously. If I were Lauren, I'd be embarrassed to even be in that category. So out of pity - go vote for her!

An interview with the biggest Pratt of them all: Spencer

Given that this is my first post, before I delve into things, I should just mention one thing: I really, really loathe Spencer Pratt. I think he is a self-righteous, arrogant little pig and no-one deserves that, not even two-faced snothead Heidi.

Here's an interview that Spencer recently did (alongside well-trained lapdog girlfriend Heidi) with Us Weekly. Topics covered? Lauren and Jason's alleged sex-tape and their involvement in it, and Heidi's boob job and rhinoplasty. Great. What a down-to-earth couple, huh.

Us: Lauren told Us you didn’t contact her after news broke about the tape. Your take?

Montag: “It’s astonishing that she would say that. I guess she forgot that I was in the hospital that week [Montag got breast implants and rhinoplasty on April 2.] Maybe that would explain why she didn’t call to see how I was doing.”

Us: So is there a sex tape?
Montag: “No comment.”
Us: Did you two leak the story?
Montag: “It’s amusing to me that because I didn’t call Lauren, I am behind the leak. It’s outrageous and inappropriate. I have nothing to do with the tape.”
Us: Spencer, did Lauren’s split from your pal Brody Jenner makes things tricky?
Pratt: “Lauren couldn’t get into clubs before she met us! We were her ticket to Hollywood. As soon as the double dating stopped, she was out. She has trouble being the third wheel. That’s what she was when Brody didn’t want to keep seeing her.”
Us: What is your relationship really like?
Montag: “Perfect. We have so much fun. I never knew I could love someone like this.”
Pratt: “I have never been so madly in love as I am with Heidi. She has the world’s greatest boyfriend!”

What does the duo have to say about Lauren’s insinuations that they leaked the story about the sex tape? How does Heidi react to accusations that Spencer is a player? Does she think she and Lauren will ever be friends again? For more on Heidi and Spencer’s side of the story, check out the new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands this week.
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Ugh. I really did use to like Heidi - she was sweet, innocent; she was the typical naive, fun, new-to-LA party girl. And she was nice to Lauren. Now we have someone who's been brainwashed by this hotheaded jerk of a guy who is using The Hills to jumpstart what are currently the dregs of a career. Spencer Pratt, you make me feel sick.

Oh, and I still don't believe there's a sex-tape.